i hate it when you wake up and you wouldn't see any indication that the day is gonna be bad

barely 24 hours after spring break is officially history (which is itself an unfortunate event), more series of unfortunate events have occurred. 

1. big exam scheduled today. and I thought there couldn't be anything worse than that.

2. woke up on time, turned off alarm, fell asleep again and woke up 30 minutes late.

3. car wouldn't start, and for a moment, it seemed like I was going to miss the big exam.

4. arrived at school on time, but forgot the all-important eraser.

5. exam's difficulty is beyond rooftop level. that, or my head is still in spring break mode.

6. one of my instructors announced today that she won't be with us anymore because she was diagnosed breast cancer. we all cried during announcement.

right now it's only 11:45 am. I'm here in the nice library, alone and waiting for Lala. 

not even half of the day is done, and it's already looking unpromising. 

"Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans." - John Lennon in Beautiful Boy

spring break projects

I've got a LOOOONG list of personal projects. And with nursing and all other stuff, I don't get to do anything. But since it's spring break... ^____^ I finally accomplished some of it. As of day 3:

1. new blog: Melted Like Butter at Tumblr [link] - somewhere to post interesting things and art inspirations.

2. closet hideaway - I've always wanted to take pictures inside my doorless closet. Kasi....... wala lang. hehehe So one sleepless night, I did. [link]

3. wreck my jeans - a very good therapy. I grated, tore and stabbed-to-death some parts of it. 

4. visual journaling - I finally started this. It's been known as a good therapy to face fears by avoiding neatness, grammar and order in writing (a very weird and fearsome task for semi-O.C.'s). And it's also a good therapy for letting go of mental constrictions by just going where your mind wanders. ::creativity outlet::

1st entry: "I don't think I'll ever be quite a grown up."

5. (another journal-related project) 100 randomized things to do in your journal - derived from Keri Smith's 100 ideas for a journal (hers is actually just up to 95, so I made 5 of my own).Keri Smith is the maker of the Wreck This Journal book: if you don't know what it is, check it out here. What I did is, instead of making a notebook and writing each task on the top of a page, I made it more random by cutting up each task in strips of paper, rolled it and put it in a mug so that I'll just pick up one each day and paste it on my journal. ^_^ 

And this is the mug:

some stuff inside: Fill an entire page of your journal with small circles, Make a map of everywhere you went in one day, Draw your dinner

Other pending projects: 

+ organize closet like below: with color coordination of hangers (I want to be a little bit more O.C.)

+ make a floor plan of my dream bedroom (just because.)

Why I'm doing all of these: Because I want spontaneity. I want to fill my world and my little brain with beautiful and inspiring things. I want to be able to grab something or go somewhere that can take me away from reality even for just a little while...

And because there is insufficient budget for a shrink session lately. LOL

Try it, might work for you too.

Melted Like Butter at Tumblr

Butter at Tumblr Link

De-stressing therapy: Wrecked Jeans

I just felt like channeling my feelings to destroying something. And also there's insufficient funds for a real one.

closet moments with a neurotic, shades-in-the-middle-of-the-night girl.

I felt like not sleeping tonight to paint and finish some personal projects. And I found myself with a red scarf, inside my closet and reconciling with vanity.
My closet has no doors, by the way. And I don't clean it regularly (who does?!). So it has a some sea of decays here and there. The accessories rack on the side is a DIY project. I never realized how cute it looks. =p

urgh, i'm bored already... enough about me, show me your closets people!

sitting for hours in front of computer mesmerized by coolness

Ever since I started Melted Like Butter, it was inevitable that I will be hooked on surfing the internet. I'm not talking about "surfing the net" as what it is usually connoted - myspacing, looking at people's profiles, facebooking, mafia wars, yoville-ing... the works. I am talking about REAL to the sense surfing the net. I could spend many hours going through online magazines, weblogs, webzines and trend sites, and not be tired one bit. It's all too very inspiring. I had no idea how self-indulgent I was before for just blogging about my life rants when there is a whole world out there waiting for me to discover and share. Like today for example, I was planning on making an entry about my first day at a new hospital (a REAL hospital, and not a nursing home anymore), but then I came across this really cool artist who journals so artistically, it makes my diary seem so plain blah. And then I came across a couple of weblogs dedicated entirely for packaging design, which by the way are getting totally cool makeovers. And then I came across a number of image bookmarking sites (more on that later). And with all the new stuff I see everyday, I can't even think of what to blog about first! 

All I know is that when I do this, my mind is somewhere else fun and exciting. Forgetting about the stressful reality. 

Sigh, if only if things were always this easy.

teary-eyed and nauseated

Lalayne and Krystle have made it clear approximately a month and a half ago that to be able to really let go of my severe "holding-on" issues (medically called: obsession), is to delete the person from all my networks. And they meant ALL of my networks. IMs, Facebook, Myspace, Multiply and Friendster.

That would be easy. Except, it is hard.

They commanded me to do it a month and a half ago and I still haven't done it. 

I am not gonna dwell bit by bit how this procrastination slapped me hard on the butt and face today in Facebook. But all I can say is OUCH and f**k it, I really need to do this soon.

 

This is so random; I'm ranting about this issue when I still have a seriously bruised arm from a vaccine and all the other crappy stuff going on around me. 

Seriously, where is my logic?!

Where can we run to escape?

"I could use a fresh beginning too,

All of my regrets are nothing new."